Manipulation of Professionals
The manipulative and coercive patterns of abusers in cases of domestic abuse and violence are often overlooked by professionals, who play a role in addressing and preventing these issues.
As a result, the responsibility of identifying and addressing abuse often falls on the victims, with devastating effects to their safety and future well being.
A Very Civil Matter: Professional Abuse, is made up of campaigns the Prepetrator uses, the roles and responsibilities of professionals in cases of domestic abuse and coercive control.
Civil war, a war between citizens of the same country.
Imagine for the Perpetrator, this is an ongoing war that they have to win regardless of the damage inflicted on their family or friends.
Remember for them anyone can be replaced, e.g.Children – they go onto to begin with a new family, even if it’s their new partner’s children.
The children do not need their biological children. New spouse/partner – even if they really don’t care for them.
It’s all to show the world it’s not them that is the real issue, they can have a relationship, even if it’s not what it seems.
The multiple of partners after the victim is a great red flag to be vigilant to.
Victims find it hard to move on as quickly!! As they are more cautious and want a more meaningful relationship than a prize or artificial relationship.
A Very Civil Matter: Professional Abuse, highlight the ways in which abusers can exploit even the most complex and sophisticated systems, with the help of certain professionals.
By shedding light on these patterns, the aim to raise awareness among professionals and show how they can help break the cycle of abuse.
It is crucial that professionals understand that their actions or inaction can have a significant impact on the victim’s safety and well-being. Even the slightest indication of support can prompt a victim to take action towards self-preservation and survival.
On the other hand, professionals who unwittingly or knowingly become accomplices to the abuser can perpetuate the cycle of abuse, making it more difficult for victims to get the help they need. By turning a blind eye or failing to take appropriate action, they are choosing to side with the oppressor.
“If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor. If an elephant has its foot on the tail of a mouse, and you say that you are neutral, the mouse will not appreciate your neutrality.” Desmond Tutu
Breaking the pattern of abuse requires limiting the abuser’s power, be it through reducing contact at child custody times, or seeking protection from the court.
It also requires professionals to listen to and evaluate the facts of the situation, rather than relying on the abuser’s manipulation.
Reducing contact with safe parent may also take away the target of the subject of the true nature the abuse is aimed at. By bringing attention to these issues.
A Very Civil Matter: Professional Abuse, was written to recognise and inspire professionals to take a more proactive role in preventing and addressing domestic abuse and violence.
And for victims to recognize that actually everything you are feeling, experiencing and enduring is real. That feeling of it’s only happening to me, will be disperses when reading though this book, because some situations can’t be made up.
It is time for us all to come together to support victims and break the cycle of abuse.
Elaine 💜
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